


LIVE FROM MY BEDROOM! IT'S DARCY LEWIS!

by freudensteins_monster



Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Child Actor AU, Darcy Lewis was a child actor is a sitcom, F/M, Fluff, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Drug Addiction, Implied/Referenced Sexual Harassment, Screenplay/Script Format, Steve Rogers was her first kiss, Tumblr Ask Box Fic, Tumblr Prompt, YouTuber Darcy Lewis
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-21
Updated: 2020-11-25
Packaged: 2021-03-09 18:21:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,863
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27650609
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/freudensteins_monster/pseuds/freudensteins_monster
Summary: Darcy Lewis is a former child actor and struggling adult actor. On a break from auditioning she is housesitting for her parents and after a stranger in a grocery store posed the question "Whatever happened to Darcy Lewis" she decides to start a youtube channel with her childhood bedroom as her set.
Relationships: Darcy Lewis/Steve Rogers
Comments: 146
Kudos: 157





	1. WHATEVER HAPPENED TO DARCY LEWIS?

**Author's Note:**

> Based on a tumblr prompt I received ages ago and have been working on ever since: https://freudensteins-monster.tumblr.com/post/189911109246/fic-you-wont-write-darcy-lewis-live-from-my
> 
> Images used in the fake youtube screenshots were sourced almost entirely from Kat Dennings and RDJ's social media accounts.
> 
> Per the tags, this has been written in a very basic script/video transcript format. And has not been beta'd. Fingers crossed it's still easy to read.

[Title Card: A cheap animated explosion solely using colours from the Lisa Frank colour wheel with the text “LIVE FROM MY BEDROOM! IT’S DARCY LEWIS!” in the middle.]

[Video opens on a cheerful woman in her 30’s sitting in what looks like a teenager’s bedroom from the 90’s. The walls are covered in band/movie posters and the shelves are full of books, Barbies, and other toys from the era. The woman has long wavy brown hair and she is wearing a [ dark blue t-shirt with a Grumpy Bear symbol ](https://www.wearitforless.com/2019/10/jane-care-bear-tees-are-back/) on it.]

Hello world! It’s Darcy Lewis here, cashing in on the childhood nostalgia train by launching my very own youtube channel. [winning smile] So… Whatever Happened to Darcy Lewis? This was a question posed to me by a random stranger after she had been staring at me for a solid five minutes as I stood in the tampon aisle of my local grocery store trying to make a decision.

[Cut scene]

[Text on screen: *Dramatic recreation*]

[Darcy, dressed in basic t-shirt, staring at shelf of tampons]

[notices someone watching her]

[turns head]

Darcy dressed up like a yoga mom, caught staring: OMG. I am so sorry. It’s just that you look just like that kid from that tv show.

Darcy, dressed in a basic t-shirt, holding two boxes of tampons: [deadpan voice] I get that all the time.

Yoga Mom!Darcy: [deep in thought] Whatever happened to that girl anyway?

Darcy: [still holding up two boxes of tampons] I heard she moved to Florida to breed alligators.

Yoga Mom!Darcy: [shocked face] Really?!

Darcy: [still holding up two boxes of tampons] …No.

[End cut scene]

So, yeah, I am that kid from that tv show. In 1990, at the age of five, I was cast in the sitcom Live from Suburbia! If you don’t remember it you were probably watching Full House. That, or you’re just too young. It’ll be thirty years this month since Live from Suburbia! first aired, and come December I am going to be thirty-five years old.

[video goes black and white, zooms in on a distraught Darcy’s face]

[Psycho shower scene music plays]

[Darcy shakes herself out of it and video returns to normal]

So, yeah, I forgive you if you haven’t seen it.

[Text flashes on screen: HEY NETFLIX! PICK IT UP ALREADY!]

My parents have probably never even seen an episode they weren’t on set for either. They were never really keen on the idea of me becoming a child actor. They’re both college professors – they were prepared for, like, mathletes or debate club, not driving me to auditions and having me take classes with a tutor in a trailer parked outside a soundstage. [laughs] But I was super obsessed with Drew Barrymore in E.T. and when my mom explained that E.T. wasn’t real, and that Drew was an actress, I decided that was what I wanted to do. So when I heard people talking about auditions being held at a local shopping mall, and that they were looking for a “precocious” 5-6 year old girl, I kind of demanded that my parents let me go. That audition was for a cereal commercial – I didn’t get it, but the casting director liked me so when they were starting the casting process for Live from Suburbia! they asked me to audition for the role of Siouxsie.

[Text appears on screen: *NOT SUSIE. SIOUXSIE. LIKE SIOUXSIE AND THE BANSHEES. #endthedebate]

Live from Suburbia! was about a wannabe rock star from LA, played by a pre-famous, pre-infamous, Tony Stark, who had to put his dreams on hold and move to the suburbs when he becomes the sole guardian of his two kids; Siouxsie and Hendrix, played by a pre-teen Clint Barton. You might recognise him too; his most recent album just went platinum.

[images of Clint Barton rocking out on stages around the world flash on screen]

The show was axed in 1994 and I pretty much went back to the real world for a few years and went back to school full time. My parents were pretty insistent on that. Towards the end of middle school they let me get back in contact with my agent and I soon got a recurring role as mean girl Kaitlyn on the Disney Channel show Total Drama Teens. And later on when I was a senior in high school I played Void, the goth hacker-slash-tech support to a brooding vigilante in one of the last great straight-to-video action duds of the Blockbuster era. 

[sudden dramatic close up] 

But we don’t talk about that. 

[zoom out]

After high school I went to Culver University and studied full time. My parents insisted I get a “real degree” so I ended up majoring in Political Science with a minor in Drama, instead of the other way around, and without the Political Science, like I wanted. After I graduated, despite my parents’ concerns, I moved to L.A. to try and become an actress full time. You might remember me from such unforgettable roles as the “kooky” comedic relief-slash-best friend in five different rom-coms from the mid-2000’s – four of which were called Jenny. I am not kidding. 

[Images of her characters appear on screen: Jenny, Jenny, Jennie, Madison, and Jenny.]

I’ve also had bit parts on every Law & Order and CSI series there is, and had recurring roles as the “kooky” girlfriend in about three different sitcoms over the past five years. 

[Darcy sighs]

[Text on screen: SIGHS IN TYPECAST]

Most recently I finished work on my first serious dramatic role in an indie movie called Bottled Lightning. It’s been entered in a few film festivals, I’ve gotten some good reviews for my performance, but as of last week it had still not secured a distribution deal. So, yeah… That one’s probably only going to be seen by a dozen film critics from three different film festivals and then sort of disappear into the unknown. [pouts] So here I am. Taking a break from the grind of auditioning. In my time capsule of a childhood bedroom. Housesitting for my parents while they’re drinking their way across Europe. 

[Darcy sighs again]

[Text on screen: SIGHS IN UNREALISED POTENTIAL]

My parents suggested I just give up on the whole acting thing altogether, move closer to them, get a “real job”… So I created a youtube channel instead. [cheeky smile] I’ve got a few ideas for upcoming episodes. Next week I’m going to be doing a reaction video to the pilot episode of Live from Suburbia! It’s been a good twenty-five years since I’ve seen it, but I’ve got the entire series on VHS stashed away in my parents attic. …just got to figure out how to get it digital so I can insert it into one of these videos…

[pensive music]

[Text on screen: COME ON NETFLIX! HELP A GIRL OUT!]

And then maybe a reaction to the first episode of Full House, or a review of the best child actor performances... Maybe if these videos get some traction I might even be able to do some interviews with other child actors – what do you think? Let me know in the comments. And I’m sure you know the drill already: Like, Subscribe, and Share. Thanks for dropping by! I’ll see you next week!

[Darcy blows a kiss to camera, screen fades to black]

NEXT VIDEO: Live from Suburbia! Pilot Episode Reaction (feat. Fizzgig)


	2. 100K SUBSCRIBERS - LIVE Q&A

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> To celebrate reaching 100k subscribers Darcy answers some fan questions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please note that Steve Rogers is called Steve McKinley in this chapter for reasons that will be revealed in a later chapter.
> 
> This chapter has some vague drug/alcohol/addiction references in regards to actor Tony Stark, which are only loosely inspired by RDJ's own troubled past as I did no research and was relying on vague recollections only, so any specific incidents mentioned are made up/not based on any real event in RDJ's life.
> 
> The twitter usernames were randomly generated online. Any similarities to any real accounts is accidental. 
> 
> This chapter has some references to sexual harassment/sexism in the film industry.
> 
> This fic is based on a tumblr prompt I received ages ago and have been working on ever since: https://freudensteins-monster.tumblr.com/post/189911109246/fic-you-wont-write-darcy-lewis-live-from-my
> 
> Images used in the fake youtube screenshots were sourced almost entirely from Kat Dennings and RDJ's social media accounts.
> 
> Per the tags, this has been written in a very basic script/video transcript format. And this has not been beta'd. Fingers crossed it's still easy to read.

[Title Card: A cheap animated explosion solely using colours from the Lisa Frank colour wheel with the text “LIVE FROM MY BEDROOM! IT’S DARCY LEWIS!” in the middle.]

[Video opens on Darcy sitting in her childhood bedroom, wearing a  [ She-ra Etheria Gym tshirt ](https://www.80stees.com/products/she-ra-etheria-gym-masters-of-the-universe-t-shirt) , throwing confetti into the air]

Hello world! It’s Darcy Lewis here, celebrating 100 thousand subscribers! Can you believe it?

[throws more confetti and blows a party whistle]

I can’t thank you guys enough for helping me reach this milestone. Really, I have no words.

[kisses camera]

Mwah! I love you guys so much! And, as I hope will become tradition, with each big milestone I reach on this channel I will be doing a Q&A session where I will be scrolling through the #DarcyLewisQ&A hashtag on twitter and answering your questions live – I have not reviewed these questions beforehand, as tempting as it was, so I haven’t got any answers prepared. 

[Text on screen: *INAPPROPRIATE/EXPLICIT QUESTIONS WILL BE IGNORED. DON’T BE GROSS.]

Here goes nothing…

[Darcy looks down at her phone and starts scrolling]

@sunlineorchestra asks, In light of the recent #MeToo movement, have you ever experienced any sexual harassment on set?

Oof, a heavy one right off the bat. Uh, yeah. Sexual harassment and objectification are pretty much background radiation in Hollywood. I’ve never met a Harvey Weinstein, or had to deal with a “casting couch” kind of situation, thank god, but yeah. Co-stars and crew being a little too familiar when setting up shots, directors who demanded my costumes be altered to better display my “assets” [sotto] because big boobs are totally essential to the characters I was playing. [beat] And there was this one much older guy that I worked with on that action movie we don’t talk about, who told sixteen year old me that I had “epic tits”, but he’s dead now, so... 

[Text on screen: NO, I DIDN’T KILL HIM. I TOTALLY HAVE AN ALIBI.]

And there’s always the ageism thing as well. I can’t even audition for a love interest role opposite a guy my age, because all female love interests, no matter the leading man’s age it seems, are in their early twenties. It’s fucked up. [winces] Oops, sorry, we’re live, I can’t bleep myself.

@jacksontank asks, Can you interview @clintbarton and @iamtonystark?

[laughs] I would LOVE to catch up with those guys, but I don’t have their numbers any more. Besides they’re super famous and super busy now – even if I did have their numbers I don’t think they’d be returning my calls.

@goshilovearrows asks, Did you ever have a crush on @clintbarton?

Ewwww! No. [shakes head vehemently] No, never. For four years he was my brother. I was an only child and he was seriously the best big brother I could have asked for. I love him, but in a total familial, but not Folgers coffee familial, kind of way. [laughs] When he released his first album I was doing the whole Disney channel thing, I was maybe 13, and all my friends from school were crushing on him HARD. They kept wanting me to give him fan mail and ask him to come visit our school… It was super weird. [cringes] Oh my god. When he released that music video for “Kill Shot”, you know the one. [covers face with hands, muffled screaming] To this day I can’t watch him in those leather pants, with dancers grinding on him. I can’t. It’s too awkward. I maintain that, for me, seeing that music video was like walking in on your brother masturbating. [shudders] Moving on…

@thatdarnchicken asks, What’s your favourite movie of all time?

Ugh, that’s a hard one. Of all time? Uuuumm… I can’t possibly pick one. Best I can do is narrow it down by categories. Like, favourites when I was a kid… E.T., The Princess Bride, Muppet Treasure Island, Matilda… Favourite old school movies… All About Eve, Casablanca, Singing in the Rain… More recent favourites… Iron Man, Little Women, Mad Max: Fury Road, The Old Guard – Charlize Theron kicking ass in anything, please and thank you. [beat] …Yeah, it’s impossible to pick just one favourite movie.

@acrobatrhino asks, Which of your characters had your favourite wardrobe?

Oh, cool question. At the time I thought that Kaitlyn from Total Drama Teens had the coolest wardrobe, but that has not aged well. [laughs] But a few years ago I was in a couple of episodes of a show called The Plaza playing some blue blood gold digger type, so her wardrobe was all designer stuff. It was unreal. I don’t wear a lot of fancy stuff in real life [tugs t-shirt] so it was fun to play dress up for a few weeks. 

@twistableyodel asks, How do you get your eyeliner so perfect?

Aw, thank you. I try really hard. And I practised a lot. There was a lot of messing it up, wiping it off and starting again involved. I also watched heaps of wing tutorials and tested out a few different products until I found one that I really liked. I’ll put some links in the description box later.

@starkravinglunatic asks, Did you know about @iamtonystark’s substance abuse problems when filming Live From Suburbia?

Ooof… another heavy one. Um… not really. I was just a kid, you know, and I didn’t really pay attention to unimportant stuff like what the grownups were talking about outside of filming. During the last season I remember some of the people on set getting annoyed with Tony. He started showing up late, or going home early without telling anyone, and when he was on set he would have days when he couldn’t get his lines right. But he was always better the next day, working his ass off to make up for it. Stuff like that I only put into context years later. After I saw his mugshot on the front page of every tabloid I was so upset and I didn’t understand how that happened. My parents sat me down and started explaining it, all those random little things that happened that I barely registered that were actually signs of really serious issues.

[puts on a voice]

Remember all those times he showed up late to set? He was too hungover to work.

Remember that time they had to re-write an episode and had both you and Clint go to sleepovers so that Tony was barely in the episode? That was because he had been driving under the influence and had gotten into a car accident. He spent that week in hospital.

Do you remember your eighth birthday? You thought Tony was just being really silly, rolling around in the backyard with you and your friends? Well, he was actually falling down drunk. He was there maybe ten minutes before your father was able to drag him out. He knocked your presents off the table and broke the Game Boy we got you, and threw up in my flower beds. He ruined your birthday!

[clears throat] 

Sorry, my mom tells that story a lot. She’s still mad at him. But I forgive him. [stares into the camera] Tony, if you’re watching this, I forgive you. I couldn’t be prouder of his recovery and the way he’s been able to turn it all around and build himself back up. He went from that to one of the most bankable stars in Hollywood – he’s frickin Iron Man! How cool is that? And from what I hear, he’s still one of the nicest guys around. He’s my hero.

[returns attention to phone]

Okay, let’s find some lighter stuff…

@ashtekka asks, What’s your favorite colour?

Blue.

@pickyhypnosis asks, What’s your favourite food?

…Is coffee a food? Okay, then… pizza.

@dukeofcrumpets asks, Is that really your bedroom?

[laughs] Yeah, dude, this is really my bedroom. [picks camera up and does a quick tour] This isn’t a set. I didn’t go from garage sale to garage sale to find all this 90’s crap. These are my posters.

[slaps hand on wall behind bed. Posters include Backstreet Boys, Hanson, Spice Girls, 10 Things I Hate About You, Ever After, Practical Magic, Dawson’s Creek…]

These are my books. I have read all of these.

[slaps bookcase. Books include, Babysitters Club, Animorphs, Goosebumps…]

These are my Beanie Babies, these are my Troll dolls, these are my dead Tamagotchi’s. [laughs]

[Darcy sits back down and puts camera back on stand]

[looks back at her phone]

On that subject…

@agentparadigm asks, Do you still live with your parents?

Kind of. I still have my place in L.A. but that’s somehow turned into something of an Airbnb for friends of friends - actors in town for auditions and what not, and I am currently staying with my parents. I don’t sleep in this room - because it’s a super creepy time capsule. I’ve claimed the guest bedroom downstairs, and so long as I keep cooking dinner for them, and we don’t get any guests over, my parents are cool with that arrangement. 

If I could easily move all this down to L.A. and make it a set I would maybe think about doing that, but I don’t have the room in my apartment, and the idea of renting a space seems a bit much for my fledgling little youtube channel. And it’s too long of a commute to come up here each week to film an episode, so yeah, for the moment I’m staying with my parents. 

@pourboney asks, Would you ever do a reboot of Live From Suburbia?

[cringes] Yeah, no. I like the idea of fans loving a show so much that they want to bring it back, but… you can count the truly well done and well received reboots on one hand. Where could you possibly take Live From Suburbia!? How would you keep it interesting? And why on God’s green earth would superstars like Tony Stark and Clint Barton lower themselves to doing a sitcom reboot when they’re at the peak of their careers? They’re A-Listers. Me? I’m an out of work actor, a C-Lister on a good day. If someone came to me with a guaranteed seasons work as a series regular I would jump on it. Mama’s gotta eat. But Tony and Clint don’t need that, and there’s no way in hell I would try and drag them back to my level just so I can have a few months of steady work. [pause] Maybe a one off special for charity? Maybe. 

Next question… Oh my god! [blushes] 

@steeeeeeeve asks, what was it like to kiss Steve McKinley? 

[blushes some more] Oh wow, that’s a serious flashback. For those of you who haven’t seen Live from Suburbia! yet – seriously Netflix, what’s the hold up? – Steve McKinley was introduced as one of our neighbours, Steve Reynolds, in the middle of Season 1. He was two years older than me, but he was such a skinny little thing that the nickname “Little Stevie” started making its way into the scripts. I don’t think he liked it much, but he never kicked up too much of a fuss. He played the 7-year-old equivalent of a love interest for my character. It was all silly stuff like Siouxsie getting jealous when he played with other kids, or Stevie getting upset when Siouxsie seemed to befriend the mean boy at school, and Tony would have to sit them down and have a heart-to-heart about the power of friendship and all that sort of thing. And then, at the end of Season 2, it was written that Stevie was moving away, and there was going to be this big adorable moment near the end where Siouxsie kisses Steve goodbye and then two minutes later we stomped on your hearts by having Siouxsie cry as he drove away. 

The adults on set were teasing us about the upcoming kiss. The director, I forget his name now, he tried to be serious, talk us through what was going to happen, what he wanted us to do, but he didn’t ask us to kiss during rehearsal. And me, being the super serious actor that I was, didn’t want to get it wrong on the day. I had never kissed anyone before and I didn’t want to embarrass myself in front of everyone. So the morning of, Steve and I were in our trailer. Our tutor had stepped out for a minute and I insisted that we try kissing before we got to set. Steve turned bright red but, brave little soldier that he was, he still leant in and puckered up. We ran through the scene later that day and got it one take. 

[Darcy’s smile falls]

It wasn’t until afterwards that what was happening really sunk in. Steve was being written out of the show – I wasn’t going to see him at work anymore. I got really upset and when Tony asked me what was wrong and I told him, he had to be the one to break it to me that not only was Steve not going to be on the show anymore, but he was moving back to New York – I was never going to see Steve again.

So I’d just been dealt this huge blow for my poor little seven year old heart, and I had to go back on set and film the scene where I run after Steve’s car. So that scene, me crying, Tony comforting me… That was all real. Really real. [sniffles] So, yeah, Steve McKinley was my first on screen kiss and my first real kiss. And my first heartbreak.

[Darcy tears up and reaches for a tissue]

Ugh, I tell you what. If I get to a million subscribers I’m going to track Steve down and I’m going to kiss him again. [pause] Unless of course he’s in a relationship, or the idea of kissing me in front of millions of viewers makes him uncomfortable in any way, then I will totally platonically shake his hand.

[blows nose obnoxiously loud]

Well, I think that’s as good a place as any to end it. Thanks again for getting me to 100 thousand subscribers, and thank you for all your lovely questions. If I didn’t get to your question please hold onto it until my next milestone Q&A and try again. And if you haven’t already, please Like, Subscribe, and Share. Thanks for dropping by! I’ll see you next week!

[Darcy blows a kiss to camera, screen fades to black]

NEXT VIDEO: DREW BARRYMORE KNOWS MY NAME!! WTF?!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The "epic tits" comment is something that actually happened to me. The father of a guy I went to high school with said this to me while we danced at another friend from high school's wedding. I'm still not sure which is worse, that or when a different guy from high school at the same wedding was drunkenly grabbing my ass/trying to get his hand up my floor length skirt while we danced, and when I didn't let him get anywhere he shrugged it off and went to slobber all over/make out with his equally drunk fiance. 🤮
> 
> On a lighter note I have only just realised I have said followers instead of subscribers on the youtube screenshot, but I really couldn't be assed re-doing it to correct it, so we'll all just have to live with it. 🤦
> 
> Please also note that the "NEXT VIDEO" title is not indicative of what the next chapter is about, but was done to suggest that there are a lot more videos on Darcy's channel than I have written.


	3. GUESS WHO'S COMING TO DINNER!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A holiday season miracle - Darcy reunites with the best pretend dad she ever had.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please note that Steve Rogers is called Steve McKinley in this chapter for reasons that will be revealed in a later chapter.
> 
> This chapter has some vague drug/alcohol/addiction references in regards to actor Tony Stark, which are only loosely inspired by RDJ's own troubled past as I did no research and was relying on vague recollections only, so any specific incidents mentioned are made up/not based on any real event in RDJ's life.
> 
> This fic is based on a tumblr prompt I received ages ago and have been working on ever since: https://freudensteins-monster.tumblr.com/post/189911109246/fic-you-wont-write-darcy-lewis-live-from-my
> 
> Images used in the fake youtube screenshots were sourced almost entirely from Kat Dennings and RDJ's social media accounts.
> 
> Per the tags, this has been written in a very basic script/video transcript format. And this has not been beta'd. Fingers crossed it's still easy to read.

[Title Card: A cheap animated explosion solely using colours from the Lisa Frank colour wheel with the text “LIVE FROM MY BEDROOM! IT’S DARCY LEWIS!” in the middle.]

[Camera 1, positioned opposite Darcy’s bed in her childhood bedroom, multi-coloured twinkle lights hanging in the background. Darcy is wrapped up a dark knit cardigan]

Darcy: Hello world! It’s Darcy Lewis here. Happy Holidays! Today I have a very, very special episode for you.

[Darcy bounces in her chair, unable to hide her excitement]

Darcy: We have a surprise guest! Such a surprise that I didn’t know about it until about two hours ago. I’ve thrown out the planned episode script – we’re going to play this one by ear. So… any guesses who my guest is?

[Darcy smiles at camera, opening her cardigan to show off a  [ festive Iron Man t-shirt ](https://www.zavvi.com.au/clothing/marvel-iron-man-kids-christmas-t-shirt-black/11967623.html?affil=thggpsad&switchcurrency=AUD&shippingcountry=AU&variation=11967628&shoppingpid=MARVEL&&thg_ppc_campaign=71700000074844082&gclid=CjwKCAiA7939BRBMEiwA-hX5JzNfnTJzAvHmW1uXi0OZGqRcIbnRFBfa-dApey00G7ED29Jeq3PJUxoCNsoQAvD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds) ]

Darcy: No idea? Well, our super special surprise guest somehow found out about my channel. So he checked it out! And he liked it! And he reached out and asked if he could come on my show!

[excited shrieking turns into wistful sighing]

[Darcy brings hands into frame to rest her chin on, she is wearing an Iron Man gauntlet on one of them]

Darcy: Isn’t he wonderful?

[sound of car pulling up outside]

[Darcy discards Iron Man gauntlet and runs to window]

Darcy: Oh my god! He’s here! He’s here!! How do I look? [Darcy primps in front of camera] Is the t-shirt too cheesy? Should I change? Ah! No time!

Darcy’s mom, off camera: Darcy! You’ve got a visitor!

Darcy: [deep breath] Send them up!

[switch to Camera 2, set up to see both Darcy and the new arrival]

[knock on the door]

Darcy: Come in!

[The door opens and in steps Tony Stark]

[Darcy’s face goes from bouncing off the walls excited to blubbering mess in 2.5 seconds]

Darcy: Oh my god, you’re really here!!

[Darcy runs into his open arms]

Tony: Of course I am. I wouldn’t miss a chance to embarrass my little tater tot in front of all her viewers.

[Darcy cries harder]

Darcy: I never thought I’d get to hear you call me that again.

[Tony hugs her tighter]

Tony: I got you, kid. 

[They stay like that, hugging in the middle of her room, for a few minutes, before Darcy pulls away.]

Darcy: Sorry about that. I’m getting snot all over your couture. [chuckles]

[Darcy grabs some tissues, turns her back to the cameras and Tony, and tries to discreetly blow her nose]

Tony: Don’t worry about it. I got like twelve of these things at home. 

[Tony gets comfortable on Darcy’s bed. Darcy sits next to him.]

Tony: So how have you been kid? Congrats on the success of your channel, by the way.

Darcy: Thank you. I’m doing really well – and thanks to your little appearance I think my channel’s going to have a little boost in popularity. [laughs]

Tony. Nonsense. It’ll all be thanks to your sparkling personality. 

Darcy: [blushes] Uh huh, sure.

Tony: [looks around] Wow… so this is your actual childhood bedroom. 

Darcy: Yup, it was pretty much closed up like a tomb when I left for college. What did your childhood bedroom look like? I’m imagining band posters everywhere, lyrics scrawled on the wall, clothes and vinyl records all over the floor. [laughs]

Tony: God, I wish. My parents hired interior designers every other season to redo their townhouse to make sure that nothing, heaven forbid, had gone out of style. My childhood bedroom was spotless, full of expensive furnishings, and completely devoid of any personality. You’re thinking of my first apartment. I definitely did not get the deposit back on that one. [beat] Or most of my other apartments, now that I think about it.

Darcy: [laughs] Okay, okay… Explain how we got here. How did you find out about my channel?

Tony: Well, every time I was bored and scrolling through my social media accounts I couldn’t help but notice people kept tagging me and linking to a youtube video. Eventually curiosity got the better of me and I checked it out. And there you were, my little tater tot all grown up.

[Tony wraps an arm around her shoulder and Darcy rests her head on his]

Tony: I went back and started watching from your very first video and then I got to your 100k subscriber Q&A video. 

Darcy: [cringes] I didn’t say anything too awful, did I?

Tony: No, no of course not. You probably had the nicest recollection of my awful behaviour of anyone who went on record about it.

Darcy: Wasn’t hard. You were the best pretend dad I ever had.

Tony: Aw, thanks tater tot. [beat] I know you said you had forgiven me, but you were telling the story about your eighth birthday – which I’m embarrassed to say I don’t remember at all – and how your mom was still angry about it, so I decided to reach out to her first. You know, one of those step thingies – making amends and whatnot.

Darcy: [laughs] I’ve been wondering how you won her over. Two weeks ago she wouldn’t have opened the door for you.

Tony: I just made an exorbitant donation to her university. 

Darcy: …How exorbitant?

Tony: Pretty sure they’re going to name a building after me.

[both laugh]

Darcy: Seriously?

Tony: …No. But after talking to your mom, and your mom forgiving me, I did set up a scholarship fund – a full ride to any one of five participating universities across the country to students with okay grades but whose life or family has been impacted by substance abuse or mental health issues. Three winners a year, for the next five years, and then we’ll re-evaluate and see if we can’t do more. 

Darcy: [gobsmacked] Oh my god, Tony! That’s amazing! You’re amazing.

Tony: [smirks] I know. [beat] So that’s your mom taken care of. And your dad was easy, I just bought him a new set of clubs. Now that just leaves you.

Darcy: What are you talking about?

Tony: I know you said you forgive me.

Darcy: And I do.

Tony: But I still feel bad about ruining your eighth birthday. And, would you look at that, you’ve just had another birthday. 35 years old, huh? You’re getting a little long in the tooth there, tater tot.

Darcy: [snorts] Look who’s talking, old man!

Tony: [aghast] How dare you! 

[both laugh]

Tony: [calming down] Alright, alright. Present time.

Darcy: What? Tony, you didn’t have to get me anything. Just seeing you again is like getting ten years’ worth of presents in one go.

[Tony gets off bed and starts rummaging underneath it]

Tony, out of frame: I know, I’m a gift.

Darcy: Tony, what the hell are you doing? What are you looking for under there?

[Tony jumps back on bed, box in hand]

Tony: Aha! Found it!

Darcy: What is it? When the hell were you in my room?!

Tony: I wasn’t. I had an inside man, well, woman. You’re mom and I are besties now, Lewis. Get used to it.

Darcy: [groans] Just give me the present. Gimme!

[Darcy rips into the wrapping paper to reveal a mint condition  [ Game Boy colour ](https://www.ebay.com/itm/Transparent-Light-Blue-Refurbished-Nintendo-Game-Boy-Color-GBC-Console-Card-/183371474118) ]

Tony: … I know this isn’t the exact model of the one that I broke, but you said in your video that your favourite colour was blue, so...

[Whatever else Tony was about to say is cut off by Darcy hugging the crap out of him]

Darcy: [muffled] It’s perfect. I love it. Thank you.

Tony: [after a few minutes he starts getting uncomfortable with all the emotion] Geez Lewis, keep one foot on the floor… Leave room for Jesus…

Darcy: [sniffles] [pulls away] God, you’re such a goober.

Tony: [smiles] [ruffles her hair] But you love me anyway.

Darcy: [smiles] You’re damn right I do.

Tony: You’re going to love me even more after I give you your second birthday present.

Darcy: [wary] What did you do? I’m not sure I can take any more surprises.

[Tony smirks, pats his pockets until he finds the right one, and pulls out a slip of paper]

Tony: Going by your recent social media posts you’ve been having a little trouble finding one Steve McKinley.

Darcy: [gasps] [game boy forgotten about] You didn’t!

Tony: [smirks] I did.

Darcy: And you’re sure it’s the right one? Because there’s like a hundred Steve McKinley’s on Facebook.

Tony: I’m absolutely, 200% sure. I’ve already spoken to him and he’s expecting your call.

[Darcy tackles him, grasping for the slip of paper. Tony tries to keep it out of her reach, laughing all the while]

Darcy’s mom, off camera: Darcy! 

[Darcy and Tony freeze mid-fight]

Darcy: …Yeah?

Darcy’s mom, off camera: Dinner’s ready!

[Tony pushes Darcy away and makes a break for the door]

Tony: Ooh, yay! Pizza’s here. And I heard someone had a whole box of Levain’s cookies shipped over from New York for dessert.

[Darcy chases him out of the room]

Darcy, off camera: Tony! Get back here with that number!

[Darcy runs back into frame, blows the camera a kiss and turns it off.]

[Screen fades to black]

[Text on screen: Thank you for watching! Happy holidays! Remember to Like, Subscribe, and Share.

[Text on screen: The Stark Foundation Scholarship Program. Applications now open. See link in description for more details.]

NEXT VIDEO: Christmas Movie Reviews with Macaulay Culkin (and Fizzgig)


	4. 1M SUBSCRIBERS - VALENTINES DAY REUNION SPECIAL

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For her 1M Subscriber celebratory video Darcy gets her wish of reuniting with her former co-star Little Stevie, who's not so little anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Based on a tumblr prompt I received ages ago and have been working on ever since: https://freudensteins-monster.tumblr.com/post/189911109246/fic-you-wont-write-darcy-lewis-live-from-my
> 
> Images used in the fake youtube screenshots were sourced almost entirely from Kat Dennings and RDJ's social media accounts.
> 
> Per the tags, this has been written in a very basic script/video transcript format. And has not been beta'd. Fingers crossed it's still easy to read.

[Title Card: A cheap animated explosion solely using colours from the Lisa Frank colour wheel with the text “LIVE FROM MY BEDROOM! IT’S DARCY LEWIS!” in the middle.]

[Camera 1, positioned opposite Darcy’s bed in her childhood bedroom. Darcy is wearing a white t-shirt with a red heart drawn on it and the words Siouxsie + Stevie scrawled across the heart in black marker]

Darcy: Hello world! It’s Darcy Lewis here, celebrating reaching 1M subscribers with this very shiny gold plaque and a very special Valentine’s Day episode. If you’ve been watching my videos or following me on social media you know that for the last six months or so I have been trying to track down Little Stevie, my co-star from Live From Suburbia! But, as you may have seen, I was having some trouble finding him. IMDB says that Steve effectively quit acting – other than Live From Suburbia! his only acting credit is playing the young version of Robert Redford in an Oscar-bait film called  _ Triskelion _ that I’m ashamed to say I hadn’t seen until last week. It was heartbreaking, Steve was amazing in it – go watch it. So, he hasn’t acted since he was about 9 years old. Nobody I got in touch with from the old days had any current contact information for him, and all the googling in the world didn’t get me any closer to finding him. I had all but given up hope when the one and only Tony Stark helped me out. 

If you’ve been living under a rock and haven’t seen the video yet, the link should be up in the corner of the screen right now. Go on, click it.

So… Tony, with all his resources and connections and general awesomeness was able to locate Steve McKinley and get me his contact info. We chatted for a little bit, just so I could confirm I was talking to the right guy, but since then we’ve only been messaging each other. We haven’t spoken on the phone since or skyped each other – I have no idea what he looks like now. For the sake of this video we decided to have our first real face-to-face conversation on camera. Today. Any minute now.

[deep exhale]

I’m so nervous. Hopefully he remembered me as fondly as I remember him, and hopefully, if he’s since discovered my channel, he’s not freaked out about the lengths I’ve gone to in order to find him. It’s weird, right? It’s so weird. God, I hope he doesn’t hate me…

[more deep breaths, head resting on desk]

[doorbell rings]

[Darcy’s head shoots up]

[Switch to Camera 2, set up to see both Darcy and the new arrival]

[Darcy jumps up and fluffs about straightening things that don’t need straightening, moving a photo of the two of them, then shoving it in a desk drawer, then pulling it out again and putting it back where it was originally]

Darcy’s father, off camera: Darcy! You’ve got company!

Darcy: Okay, send them up!

[Darcy exhales shakily and jumps about, trying to shake off her nerves.]

[knock on door]

[Darcy freezes]

Darcy: …Come in.

[The door opens and Darcy reels back in surprise. Her guest is much taller than she assumed he would be. He’s probably six feet tall, has broad shoulders and is built like a linebacker, with dark blond hair and the beginnings of a beard on his square jaw. He’s also wearing a sweater with a large heart on it, a picture of their television kiss filling it.]

Darcy: Holy shit.

Steve: [laughs] Hi Darcy.

Darcy: No way. Am I being punked? Is Tony punking me?

Steve: What are you talking about?

Darcy: You are not Little Stevie! You’re huge!

Steve: [bashful] [shrugs] What can I say? Puberty hit me like a truck.

Darcy: [near hysterical] No shit!

Steve: Darcy… I swear, it’s really me.

Darcy: Uhuh, sure. Prove it. What was the first thing I ever said to you?

Steve: [thinks about it][smiles] “That’s my juice box. Get your own.”

[Darcy’s legs almost give out]

[Steve moves to catch her]

[Darcy mistakes his intention and launches herself at him, wrapping around him like a koala]

Darcy: Holy shit! It really is you!

[Steve laughs and tries to readjust his old on Darcy, carefully avoiding grabbing her ass]

[Darcy pulls back, takes his face in her hands and inspects it, her gaze lingering on his familiar blue eyes]

Darcy: [awed] It really is you…

Steve: It really is. [smiles] It’s so good to see you again.

Darcy: [hugging him again] It’s so good to see you too!

[Darcy relinquishes her hold and all but drags Steve towards the two chairs set up in front of her camera]

Darcy: Sit, sit, sit.. [sniffles] Wow, I can’t believe you’re here.

Steve: [reaches for her hand] Me either. It’s been a long time.

Darcy: The better part of thirty years! [squeezes his hand] [stares in wonder] [shakes her head, gets back on script] Wow, okay. So… I guess we should start at the beginning: Whatever happened to little Stevie McKinley?

Steve: [chuckles] Well, I should probably start off by telling you the reason you have such a hard time tracking me down is because my real name isn’t Steve McKinley.

Darcy: [shocked] What?!

Steve: Yeah, my real name is Steve Rogers. [waves to camera] My casting agent already had a Steve Rogers on her books - some octogenarian doing “men’s health” ads - so I was encouraged to make up a stage name. McKinley was my mom’s maiden name.

Darcy: Wow… [beat] Wait. Was? What happened to your mom?

Steve: [winces] Oh… She, uh, she passed away. Breast cancer. About a year after I left the show. 

[Darcy puts a hand to her mouth as she gasps] 

[Steve squeezes her hand]

Steve: I’m sorry you had to find out like this. [gestures at camera]

Darcy: [shakes head] I’m so sorry for your loss, Steve. She was a really nice lady.

Steve: [nods in agreement] She was, and she really liked you too. [chuckles] Oh god, she musta spent hours just smiling while I talked her ear off about how nice you were. “Darcy said this…” and “Darcy said that…” [smiles] She had the patience of a saint. 

Darcy: So, not to get side-tracked here, but you had a crush on me too? [hopeful expression]

Steve: [chuckles] [blushes] Just a small one, yeah. You know, I grew up in a pretty rough neighbourhood in Brooklyn, fighting constantly with these mean kids on my block who had nothing better to do than picking on the little guy – which was always me. And then when I got the part and we moved to L.A. I was kind of expecting more of the same. I was so nervous, and I didn’t want to get fired for pushing back if the other kids on set tried to start something, but I got there and I met you.

Darcy: [cringes] Ugh, and I told you not to touch my juice box. 

Steve: [laughs] Yeah, but you also showed me where I could get my own. You grabbed my hand and dragged me around the set, explained what everything was, how things worked, introduced to everyone I would be working with. And whenever there was a new kid on set you’d introduce me as your best friend. I can’t thank you enough for making things just that little bit easier for me.

[Darcy squeezes his hand]

Darcy: Your mom was already sick?

Steve: Yeah, she was first diagnosed when I was six. And money was tight well before the medical bills started coming in. I wanted to help her out as much as I could. I tried not to get into any fights, I kept the house tidy, I made her soup whenever she was sick… But what she really needed was money. And one day I overheard some girls in my class talking about a kid’s talent agency and how a girl in the year above us got paid $50 to have her picture taken for a toy catalogue. I went home that day and told mom that I wanted to do that. She didn’t believe me for a second, but I made my case: as much as I hated it, grownups thought I was cute. And it was fifty dollars just to get my picture taken. [smiles sadly] I thought that fifty dollars would make all the difference to us, you know.

Darcy: I’m sure she appreciated the sentiment. 

Steve: [nods] She did, and I held fast, insisted I was going to do this for her, so on one of her good days she walked me down to the talent agency and I had my first job that very afternoon. Earned $100 bucks for a cereal print ad. Over the next couple of months I got a few more print ads and a couple of commercials, and as much as my mom hated to admit it, the money I made really helped us out. And then my agent asked me to do an audition tape for a tv show. They sent it off and came back like a week later and said they wanted me for this part. It would be a recurring guest role for at least a season – so, you know, a decent chunk of change, and I could keep doing print ads on the side. But it was in L.A. My mom had finished chemo and was in remission by that time but we didn’t have the money to travel across the country. The studio came back and said they’d cover our flights and get us a basic hotel room for a couple of weeks, but we’d have to find our own place after that. We ended up staying with a friend of my mom’s from nursing school, sleeping on her fold out couch and taking the bus to the studio each day. My mom started taking shifts at a local hospital, and coming with me to set on her days off. Things were really good for a while. And then my contract was up.

[both sigh forlornly, making doe eyes at each other]

Darcy: And you went back to Brooklyn.

Steve: [shakes head] That was the plan, but my agent called my mom and told her about this movie part that I’d be perfect for. She knew the casting director involved, had already spoken to them about me, and was pretty confident that I’d be in with a shot. My mom was hesitant to even let me audition. Now that she didn’t have any new medical bills coming in she kind of just wanted to go back to Brooklyn and get back our normal lives, you know. But then my agent told her my part of the movie would be filming in Ireland for about two months and she caved. [explains to camera as much as to Darcy] My parents moved here from Ireland when they were twenty. I was born a year later, my father died suddenly about six months after that, and my mom could never afford to go back – she never saw her parents again. So, yeah, the opportunity to take her to Ireland was too tempting. She asked me if I wanted to do it and I said yes before she finished talking. And I was never more proud of myself than when my agent told us I’d gotten the job and that the movie studio would be flying us out to Ireland in a month’s time. 

[beam at each other]

Darcy: So what was it like? Filming in Ireland and working with Robert Redford?

Steve: I don’t think I’ve worked harder in my life. [laughs] I played a younger version of Robert Redford’s character and all my scenes were kind of flashbacks as he thought back on his terrible childhood – violence, poverty, and feelings of helplessness. Things I could relate to all too well. I had to cry a lot. And the guy who played my character’s father, Alexander Pierce, he had to yell at me a lot, shake me, drag me around by the arm… That sort of thing. He was very careful about the physical stuff. He and Robert worked hard to make it look as real as possible without hurting me, but that was as nice as he got. He rarely let me see him out of character. He never spoke to me unless we were on set, running a scene. To this day I don’t know if he really was an asshole or not. [chuckles] But, as emotionally draining as my filming days were, I was only working maybe one day out of every four. The rest of the time I got to hang out with my mom, an hour down the road from where she was born.

Darcy: She must have loved that, being able to show you around her hometown.

Steve: [smiles] She did. We had the best time, so many happy memories crammed into a few short months. [smile falls] She made sure of that…

Darcy: [squeezes his hand, shuffles a bit closer] She got sick again?

Steve: [nods] [can’t look her in the eye] The cancer had come back, more aggressive than before. She got confirmation a few weeks before Live from Suburbia! ended and decided that she couldn't go through chemo again. She didn’t tell me until she couldn’t hide it anymore, and we talked about what was going to happen. She had arranged for an old friend of hers from one of the hospitals where she used work to become my legal guardian. And he was a really great guy, infinitely patient and kind. He sold his place in Queens and moved us back into my old neighbourhood so that I didn’t have to deal with too many changes and could still go to school with my one real friend there. [offers Darcy reassuring smile] Things were hard for a while, but they got better.

Darcy: [sniffle] Can I hug you anyway?

[Steve smiles, stands, and holds his arms out.]

[Darcy wraps her arms around his midsection and holds him tight]

[They stay like that for a few quiet minutes, their faces mostly out of frame]

[They compose themselves and sit back down]

Darcy: [sniffles] So, once you got settled you didn’t want to get back into acting?

Steve: [hesitates] No, not really. No matter how much I may have enjoyed the work, or the company, [smiles at Darcy] I only started doing it to earn some money to help my mom out. My guardian was a former surgeon – he was in a much better place, financially speaking, and he tried really hard to make sure that I could just be a kid, you know, and that I didn’t have to worry about grown up responsibilities until I was one myself. 

Darcy: Well, since you didn’t keep acting, what have you been doing with yourself?

Steve: [smiles] I got into art school, actually. And in the last few years I’ve finally been able to drop the “struggling” part from my job title [laughs]. 

Darcy: [delighted] Really? What sort of art? Got anything out in the world that our viewers might have seen?

Steve: Uh, I do a lot of digital art as well as some traditional oil-on-canvas stuff. [to camera] Just head for the most hipster art galleries in Brooklyn and you’ll probably find a piece of mine hanging on the walls. [laughs] But I’ve also been getting some regular work from Marvel and DC, and a few of their smaller offshoots, as a comic book artist. [beat] Actually, I recently got to do a cover for an Iron Man issue.

Darcy: No way!

Steve: Yeah, I think that’s how Tony found me actually. No idea how he connected artist Steve Rogers with little Steve McKinley - I think my real name was mentioned once in passing on set, but yeah. His people got in touch with me through my bosses at Marvel and asked me if they could pass my contact info onto him.

Darcy: And before you had spoken to Tony, were you aware of my channel? You can say no, I won’t be offended. [laughs]

Steve: Uh… [braces himself] If I say yes will you get angry at me for not contacting you sooner? 

Darcy: [feigns offence] [pokes him in the ribs] Explain.

Steve: [laughs] [sobers] As much as I missed you, after my mom passed and I went back to school, the bullies still wanted to pick on me, but now me being in a tv show was somehow more ammunition. They would bring up the kiss scene and say stuff like, “How could she do that? I bet she threw up afterwards.”

Darcy: [outraged] Those little shits!

Steve: [nods] Yeah, they were pretty awful. 

Darcy: [gets all up in camera’s face] Hey! Steve’s bullies! I did not throw up, thank you very much. In fact, I kind of wished I screwed up the take so I could kiss him again – so there! [blows raspberry at camera]

[Darcy pulls back and Steve is looking extremely bashful, but when Darcy turns her attention back to him he clears his throat and tries to continue on from where he left off.]

Steve: Um, so, yeah… Because of that, and still hurting over losing my mom, I kind of wanted to put as much distance between me and show as possible. I got my hair shaved off, I dressed differently… did everything I could so I wasn’t automatically recognisable as Little Stevie so people would stop bringing it up, and hoped the bullies would forget about it. [pause] And after the show ended I sort of forgot about it too. I would still think about you from time to time [blushes] like when we got a bit older and my best friend was bragging about the latest girl he’d kissed, I’d remember the only girl I had kissed at that point. [both blush] But then [smirks] I had a girlfriend in college who loved rom-coms.

Darcy: [cringes] Oh no.

Steve: [chuckles] So she dragged me to see the latest rom-com, some movie called “Soulmates on a Train”…

[screen cap from movie, Darcy wearing a big fluffy tutu skirt that’s caught in a train’s door as it’s pulling away, pops up on screen]

Steve: And I’m sitting there going [confused expression] “Who is that? She looks familiar. What other movies has she been in?” After thirty minutes I couldn’t take it any more so I leant over to my girlfriend and asked her, “Do you know who that actress is, the one playing the best friend? I can’t remember what else I’ve seen her in.” / “Oh! That’s Darcy Lewis…” And she started going on about all the rom-coms you’d been in that she loved, but I didn’t hear any of that. I just heard the words “Darcy Lewis” and just sat there stunned. [mimics stunned face] [beat] Until that moment you had just sort of existed as a memory, you know.

Darcy: Sure. 

Steve: And then there you were. I got home and googled you, found your filmography and watched everything I could find. You were the best thing in  _ The Avenging Soldier _ , by the way. I’m so sorry that whole production was a horrible experience for you.

Darcy: [blushes] God, where did you even find that movie? The dollar bin at Walmart?

Steve: [chuckles] Something like that. So, yeah, I became your biggest fan. Had google alerts set up for any new info on you, so I knew about your youtube channel from the very first video. I was probably one of your first subscribers.

Darcy: [shocked] Why didn’t you ever say anything?

Steve: [embarrassed] I was seeing someone at the time, and I thought if she knew about our history and my level of interest in you, that it would cause some problems, so I watched your videos on the down low and liked every single one. Then a few weeks after your 100k video my relationship had ended - not specifically because of you but I, uh, admittedly I wasn’t as emotionally committed to that relationship as I should have been [cringes]. A few weeks after that my best friends came over for drinks and tried to talk me into getting back in the dating game, setting up a dating profile, asking me who my girl was, and I pretty much admitted to them that I had a huge crush on you. My buddy - my best friend from elementary school - he recognised your name and immediately pulled up clips from the Live From Suburbia! to show my best friend from college, who had no idea I was a former child actor. Cue hours of jokes at my expense. [both laugh]

We woke up the next morning hungover as anything, and over a greasy diner breakfast they tried to convince me to reach out to you but I resisted. I think I was embarrassed. You’ve spent months trying to track me down, but I’ve spent years being your biggest fan, watching every interview, every guest spot on a tv show… You’re this amazing actress and I was only just starting to make a living wage money with my art… My friends badgered me about it for days and I kept bouncing between desperately wanting to contact you and being afraid that if I did it would be awkward or you wouldn’t like Steve Rogers.

Darcy: Aw…

Steve: But then Tony Stark got in touch with me and pretty much made the decision for me.

Darcy: In case you’re still worried, I think like Steve Rogers a whole lot. 

Steve: [blushes] Yeah?

Darcy: [nods] You mentioned my 100k subscriber video… Do you happen to remember what I said I was going to do for my million subscriber video?

Steve: [blushes some more] Yeah, I do.

Darcy: And... what do you think about that?

Steve: [red as a tomato] I think I sure as hell don’t want to settle for a platonic handshake.

[Darcy’s whole face lights up as she smiles] 

[Darcy lunges forward and claims her long awaited kiss]

[Steve is startled for a split second before melting into it]

[Steve pulls Darcy closer]

[Darcy pushes forward, Steve leans backwards]

[Steve’s chair barely gives a warning wobble before toppling]

Steve: Whoa! Shit!

[Two bodies and a broken chair hit the ground]

[hysterical laughter]

Darcy: [laughing] Oh my god! Ow! 

Steve: [laughing] Are you ok?

[They sit up - only the tops of their heads are in frame]

Darcy: Yeah. [catches breath] You?

Steve: Yeah…

[the heads move closer together]

Darcy’s Mom (o.s.): DARCY!

[the heads jerk apart]

Darcy: Yeah?!

Darcy’s Mom (o.s.): Your father’s ordering Chinese – is Steve staying for dinner? 

Darcy: [quoting one of Siouxsie’s recurring lines] Whaddya say, Stevie? You wanna stay for dinner?

Steve: Yeah… I think I do.

[the heads move closer together]

[animated hearts fill the screen]

FADE TO BLACK

[a screencap of their original kiss from Live From Suburbia appears in the centre of the screen]

[Text on screen: HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY]

[Text on screen: Siouxsie + Stevie 4ever!]

NEXT VIDEO: BOTTLED LIGHTNING GOT A DISTRIBUTION DEAL!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note that the "NEXT VIDEO" title is not indicative of what the next chapter is about, but was done to suggest that there are a lot more videos on Darcy's channel than I have written.


	5. GOODBYE BEDROOM!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time to move out and on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading. xoxox

[Title Card: A cheap animated explosion solely using colours from the Lisa Frank colour wheel with the text “LIVE FROM MY BEDROOM! IT’S DARCY LEWIS!” in the middle.]

Hello world! It’s Darcy Lewis here, and as you can probably guess from the video title, this will be my last video from my childhood bedroom, and quite possibly the last video for this channel, because a lot of things have been happening. Firstly, my parents have decided to sell their house, which contains my childhood bedroom, and downsize to something more manageable for two sixty-something wannabe retirees. So I have to clear out this room. 

[looks around room]

Sure, I could keep all this stuff and recreate it elsewhere but I don’t want to do that. I think the reason it works now is because it feels real and organic. Making a copy of it, making it a set… that doesn’t really work for me. So yeah, goodbye room.

First things first, I’ve got to clear all this crap out – everything must go. I will be auctioning off most of the toys and collectables, and some of the book series you see behind me. By the time this video gets posted the auction site should be live – look for the link in the description field. Also up for auction is an original artwork by Steve Rogers, a signed and framed copy of Clint Barton’s Grammy award winning album, an Iron Man gauntlet signed by Tony Stark, and there will be five Live From Suburbia! posters up for grabs, signed by all four of us. Half of the total proceeds from the auctioned items will be donated to the Stark Foundation Scholarship Program, while the other half will be donated to Project Insight, a charity that aims to improve the lives of foster children across the country. Details for both will be listed in the description box if you want to check them out.

[loud exhale]

So… what’s going to happen to Darcy Lewis now that her parents are effectively kicking her out of their guest bedroom and her childhood bedroom-slash-filming studio? Well… [smiles] I have a new job! You might recall one of my earlier videos titled “Auditioning Hell”. I made that in order to distract myself while I waited to hear back from an audition. As you can guess I got the part! We finished filming a pilot episode last month, shopped it around, and it was picked up by NBC who ordered a full two seasons!

[cheers, throws confetti]

So, two weeks from now I go to work on my new show, “Throw the Switch”, where I’ll be playing Irene Igor, the beleaguered assistant to a kooky mad scientist. That’s right, I’m not going to be the kooky one for once! [fist pump] It’s going to be a sort of dark comedy in the vein of  _ What We Do In Shadows _ \- it’s going to be so much fun, I can’t wait. It’s going to be filming in New York, so announcement number… [counts on fingers] three: I’m moving in with Steve!

[more cheering and more confetti]

Those of you who follow me on Instagram may have picked up on the fact that Steve and I have been seeing each other since our reunion video in February. But, as we live on opposite sides of the country, dating has been a bit difficult at times. Video calls are amazing and all, but sometimes you just want to cuddle on the sofa with your boyfriend and his stupidly cute dog, and I can’t always drop everything and fly over to see him, you know? So I’m reducing the distance between us by about two and a half thousand miles. [giggles] As strange as it will be to say goodbye to this house, and leave California behind for the foreseeable future, I am really, really excited about this next chapter in my life and what the future holds for me. And I want to thank you all for helping me get here. Thank you so much for all your love and support while I was floundering and trying to figure out what I was doing with my life. It means the world from me.

[smiles softly at camera]

So, for the last time, live from my bedroom, this has been Darcy Lewis. Thank you and goodnight.

[Darcy blows kiss to camera]

[screen fades to black]

[Text on screen: I Love You 3000.]

**Author's Note:**

> Note that the "NEXT VIDEO" title is not indicative of what the next chapter is about, but was done to suggest that there are a lot more videos on Darcy's channel than I have written.
> 
> I named Darcy's parent's cat Fizzgig after the creature in The Dark Crystal because of the whole eighties/nineties kid vibe.
> 
> This fic has been posted to tumblr: https://freudensteins-monster.tumblr.com/post/635359916116361216/live-from-my-bedroom-its-darcy-lewis


End file.
